Waver
by akairi
Summary: Revenge is never sweet for the receiver / a story featuring a slow paced Shizaya and a guest appearance from Shinra. Rated T due to a few scenes. / Hard copy lost so slow updated uwu
1. Revenge - Prologue

**a sudden author's note** / Hello and thank you for looking at this story. I've tried my absolute best to correct all my mistakes - which I found where many - but if you could point them out by messaging, or even through a review, it'd be kindly appreciated. Other than that, I hope you enjoy reading ^^/

* * *

**revenge **_(n.)_ the action of hurting or harming someone in return for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands.

* * *

Pain was something that was never welcome. It was a sign that one's body was damaged or that something was wrong. His breath had been knocked out the moment his back hit the hard cement wall behind him. His eyes slowly filled with terror as his brain registered what was happening to him. The switchblade he always kept in his pocket was open in the silhouette's hand, the moonlight reflecting off of the blade.

"Look at you." He recognised that voice. A client had asked for information on this guy. Evidently he didn't like the once confidential information regarding his company to be released to the public in the dramatic way it had been. "An eye for an eye. That's what they say right? The only thing is, in this case, you ruin my business, I ruin both your business and you."

The dark haired male winced as his hair was tugged backwards, jerking his head with it. His neck looked even more pale than usual under the moon's gaze. "Tch." He could feel his scalp burning from the immense pain. "Why don't you go after that guy instead of me? Aren't you just an idiot?"

"Still trying to talk your way out of this?" The cold edge of the blade was pressed against his exposed neck. "Your voice annoys me. But I think I'll let you cry out this one last time, O-ri-ha-ra-san."


	2. Worry

**worry **_(i.) _the state of being anxious and troubled over actual or potential problems.

* * *

The shrill ringing of an annoying cellular device was never welcome first thing in the morning. Letting a grunt slip past his lips, the blonde grabbed his phone from the bedside table, finally sick of the sound.

"Calling me so early in the morning," His sleep affected voice came out gruff. "What do you want now, Shinra?"

"Shizuo-kun!" The underground doctor's voice was full of unnatural panic. Despite noticing the oddness, the ex-bartender ignored it. "Izaya-kun- he-!"

"The flea's in my city again?" He couldn't help but interrupt upon hearing the informant's name. Pulling a cigarette from its half crumpled pack, he lit it quickly. "Tell me where he is. I'll put that damn flea back in his place."

"That's not what I'm calling you for!" Shinra's voice quickly became filled with urgency, easily shifting up an octave or two. "Izaya-kun is in hospital!"

* * *

The overwhelming smell of disinfectant filled the blonde's nose the moment he stepped through the automatic doors of the hospital. It was a smell that reminded him of an empty void known simply as 'loneliness'. He halted his thoughts before they could develop into something that'd bring his mood to the ground.

"Where's that stupid flea hiding?" Of course, he already knew. After Shizuo ended the call with the underground doctor abruptly, Shinra had wasted no time in sending a follow up email.

**Shinra [05:29]:**_ 'The hospital doctors don't know what exactly happened to him. A random passerby found him in the middle of an alleyway and immediately called for an ambulance. Since neither of us can discharge him, Izaya-kun will have to be left to the hands of _qualified _doctors._

**Shinra [05:32]: **_'The doctors are saying that he's currently in a comatose state and not responding to anyone's poking and prodding. We don't know when he'll wake up.'_

**Shinra [05:35]:** _'Shizuo-kun, you're coming right? He's being kept in room 204.'_

204. When his eyes landed on the brass number plate on the door, his mind screamed at him to turn around and walk back the way he had come. Ignoring the flood of thoughts that were plaguing his mind, he held his breath as he turned the door handle.

The first thing he heard was the quiet beeping of various equipment. The IV drip hung above the bed in an orderly fashion. The room was an almost pristine white, blinding to his hazel eyes. In the small plastic chair beside the bed, the underground doctor stared unflinching at the frail figure in the shallow bed, almost as if he were scared that the person in the bed would disappear if he dared to even look away.

Finally looking at the frail man bundled inside the thin blankets, he could feel his own breathing stop for the briefest of moments. "Izaya." The bodyguard's voice cracked between the three syllables, almost as if the said male himself were mocking him. How long had it been since he had said that damn name normally?

"Shizuo-kun," Although he knew that the other male was now present in the room, the usually eccentric doctor's voice was hushed, his eyes still trained on the unmoving body in front of him. "Izaya-kun, he's here. Please open your eyes."

It hurt. Even if his body's pain tolerance was unrivaled, seeing that damned flea in such a weakened state shot something through him. Clenching his fist, he slowly approached the hospital bed. The air around him felt ridiculously heavy. The once quiet beeping of medical machines seemed louder as it echoed in his ears.

"Stay here with him, Shizuo-kun." Turning around, he could see that the doctor's young eyes had dark circles under them. It was evident that he'd been there since the night before.

"Yeah." He pulled the seat that Shinra had been sitting on closer toward the bed. "If anything happens, I'll mail you."

* * *

It was painful. When red eyes tried to open, they refused to respond. When long slender fingers tried to reach out, they stayed plastered to his side. It was suffocating. He was trapped in an endless darkness and no matter what he did, he couldn't escape.

_"Izaya."_

He instantly recognised that voice. It was the voice one of a man who only allowed the emotion of aggression to show. It was different now. The voice carried a fine underlying tone of sorrow. But why? Why was the voice of Ikebukuro's strongest man full of an emotion other than an unadulterated anger?

_"... Izaya-kun, he's here." _That voice too. Why was the voice full of life suddenly full of pain? _"Please open your eyes."_

More than anything he wanted to do just that. To see what kind of emotion they were wearing on their face to produce such an emotion in their voice. Somehow it hurt him. Their voices pulled at his heart in a way where he almost felt guilty.

_"Stay here with him..."_

_"If anything happens, I'll mail you."_

He listened as soft footsteps left the room, the door closing quietly behind him. For the briefest of moments, he thought he was alone again.

* * *

It was funny, really. When they were left together, it'd lead to a large fight that caused more destruction to their surroundings rather than to each other. And yet here they were, an unconscious Izaya and a somber Shizuo in the same room, as silent as ever.

Reaching under the blanket, he found the cold hand of his once enemy. He hesitated. "You-" Closing his eyes, he held the fragile hand as gently as possible in fear of possibly breaking it. "Isn't it usually _you _who'd force our hands together?"

He let out a dry chuckle. Even if they were constantly fighting one another, in a situation like this, he couldn't let his fluctuating emotions to run wild. Especially when his opponent was down by the hands of someone other than himself.

His stream of thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on the door. The hospital doctor walked in with long strides, his face full of seriousness. His whole posture screamed that something was indeed very wrong with Izaya's condition.

"Good morning," Good? The doctor's grim face said otherwise. "Are you Orihara-san's family?"

Unable to say anything, his grip on the informant's hand tightened as he shook his head. "We're... friends." Stating the truth would've had the bodyguard kicked out faster than before he could blink.

"I see," The doctor looked down at his clipboard. "I have some information on Orihara-san's condition and how he received such injuries."

Shizuo closed his eyes. Did he really have to hear this?

"After extensive testing, we found that his vocal chords have been forcibly removed. With the blood loss he must have experienced, it's lucky that he was able to survive to even this point. Whether the authorities are to be informed regarding this injury will be up to his family."

His family? The only two people that he knew to contact was the damned flea's two sisters. Even then, they were minors, meaning they wouldn't be able to do anything.

"I'm-" He paused. How would Izaya react if he heard something like this coming out of his mouth? "I'm his lover."

* * *

**a sudden author's note** / from now on I'll be using this awkward little area for important stuff and to reply to reviews. Of course, you don't have to stick around for it and you're more than welcome to pass on through to the next chapter ! I'm also still quite upset that the horizontal line doesn't appear sometimes. I won't stress too much about it though. The transitions are pretty evident if it's read.


	3. Formality

**formality **_(n.) _the rigid observance of convention or etiquette.

* * *

The slight widening of the doctor's eyes gave away his thoughts instantly. The bodyguard knew what he said was a little weird to the doctor's ears but he knew that unless he said something along those lines, no one that was remotely trustworthy would make an appropriate choice in this situation. After all, everyone who was in the loop in Ikebukuro knew that Izaya Orihara the infamous informant had more enemies than anyone else in this city.

"I see," The doctor cleared his throat as if he were trying to force the awkwardness of the situation away with a horrid noise. "In that case, your consent for police involvement will be needed. Please do as you see fit. The receptionists will handle matters regarding the authority's involvement."

With those last few words, the doctor left silently. Watching the doctor leave, Shizuo let out a small sigh. Exactly what kind of mess had he just gotten himself into? It was too late to take back what he had said to the doctor though. If he did, there'd be no way he'd be let back into the hospital to visit the damn flea even if he wanted to. Looking down at the hand that was still holding Izaya's, he closed his eyes. The informant, for the first time in a long time, looked like he could do no harm.

* * *

If there was one thing that Izaya would always laugh at, it was proclamations of love. In this day and age, he saw this once raw emotion as something that was taken much too lightly. The constant throwing around of this word made his skin crawl. This way of thinking stopped him from getting too deep into any form of romantic relationships.

_"I'm his lover."_

His way of thinking seemed to have been pushed to the back of his mind the moment he heard those few words uttered above him through the darkness. He could suddenly feel the warmth spreading through his unresponsive hand. This warmth caused something strange to stir within him, a feeling that he hadn't experienced in a long time. Even then, it was impossible, right?

The source of those words was what caused him to ignore the sudden conflicted thoughts he had. It was the gruff voice of someone who usually wore a frown. The gruff voice that was normally filled with anger was now laced in a tone of poorly hidden sadness. His ridiculously strong rival holding an emotion other than one of aggression was something that confused him more than anything else.

* * *

Dealing with the people that provided more paperwork than he cared to deal with always managed to cause Shizuo to suddenly feel the urge to smoke. He'd been standing at the receptionist's desk for the past few minutes, staring at the woman who ignored his presence. His patience was running thin as she typed away on her computer.

"_Ahem_." For the umpteenth time, the bodyguard cleared his throat in an attempt to catch the woman's attention yet again.

"Hello, sir." Shizuo could've sworn the woman dared to sigh after she'd made him wait for longer than he had the patience for. "How may I help you today?"

"Izaya Orihara," He gestured toward the room down the hall with his thumb. "I'm giving permission as his lover to have the police work out what the hell happened to him."

Those words left a strange taste in his mouth. They were things that he never thought he'd say about anyone, especially not that flea. The look he was getting from the receptionist seemed to reflect his swirl of emotions too.

The woman was silent as she stared at him. Pulling out a stack of papers from one of her desk drawers, she shoved them into the blonde's hands. Throwing a pen on top of the pile, she pointed at certain sections on the front page. "Fill these in. Bring them all – including the pen – back when you're done."

* * *

With the paper work filled out, Shizuo refused to go back into the room. The only thing he could hear in there was the sound of machine supported breathing and the quiet _plop _every few seconds from the IV drip. Even if there was a person that he knew laying as still as a statue within the confines of his bed, if that person didn't respond, just what was the point in staying there and hanging onto false hope?

Shaking his head, he stood out on the street facing the window where Izaya lay unconscious. Until the police came to find out what happened to the informant, he'd have to go around and find things out for himself. Fiddling with the phone in his hand, he left an email for the doctor that he usually turned to.

**Shizuo [12:04]: **'_I signed all the papers for the police to investigate this bullshit. Don't bother asking me how I managed to do it without being his family._'

**Shizuo [12:07]: **'_Since the police are pretty much as useful as high school kids in this case, I'm going to look into things myself. Send me any info you got on exactly where the flea was found. I'll do the same with whatever I find._'

With everything he needed to say sent, he pushed his hands into the depths of his pockets and walked away. "What the hell happened to you, you damn idiot?"

* * *

**a sudden author's note **/ nothing special to report for the rewrite of this chapter; answering reviews from the previous chapter, _Worry_, instead ~

**dinonina **– not too sure if that's a good thing or bad thing ahaha. I hope you like the future chapters though !

**Akatsuki Fatale – **I have to agree with you on that one ~ The angst from worried!Shizuo and hurt!Izaya can almost be smelled in the air.


	4. Isolation

**isolation **_(n.) _the process or fact of isolating or being isolated.

* * *

Being suspended in a darkness where his body couldn't move no matter how much he tried to force it to was a hell that Izaya could find no exit to. It felt as if he were trapped within the confines of a coffin. Darkness was his only company and his one enemy. The cold settled on his skin in such a way that if he could make a facial expression, it would have been one of a pain filled terror. His ears were filled with a silence so loud that it rang in his ears.

Every now and again however, that silence would be broken with a familiar voice forcing itself through the darkness. Sometimes, a slight feeling of warmth would encase his hand, reminding him that somehow, just somehow, some part of him was still alive and ready to break down the walls that stopped him from opening his eyes and holding the warmth tight.

_Hope_. That's what they called it.

* * *

There was always a problem when it came to dealing with the police. The _authority figures_ would either completely fail and find absolutely nothing, or they would essentially tremble in fear whenever a certain blonde locked eyes with them. Honestly, dealing with them was just a massive waste of time unless they miraculously decided to actually investigate with their whole heart. And the chances of that? Close to zero.

Stamping out his newly lit cigarette on the ground, Shizuo let out a growl. The more he thought about the fact the even he was doing an even better job than the police, the more irritated he got. His irritation only grew further when he questioned why he was getting so worked up about something that didn't even really concern him in the first place. After all, it was just a stubborn flea who'd finally been put in his place, right?

"Shit." Slipping his hands into his pockets, he fidgeted with the lighter in his pocket as he walked in the direction of the hospital.

The sun had begun to set behind him, casting the hospital in a lazy orange hue. It almost made the normal hustle and bustle of the general hospital look calm and welcoming. He stared at his hazy reflection in the perfectly clean hospital doors. His sunglasses had been forgotten at home with the rush of urgency that filled him after the phone call. Without them, he could clearly see the bags that had begun forming under his eyes.

"What the hell am I doing...?" His words trailed off when his eyes caught the figure of a brunette approaching him in the reflection. Two days. It had been two days since that flea had been thrown into hospital. Since then, it seemed like their whole group from high school had suddenly reassembled. Only this time, there was someone missing.

"Good afternoon, Shizuo-kun." Any person could hear that his singsong greeting was more forced than natural. The smile was obviously forced too. In the end, it seemed that the brunette was the worst liar in the trio. Even then, Shizuo couldn't bring himself to pointing it out. "Are you here to visit our beloved Izaya-kun too?"

It almost pained him to hear that forced tone from the usually carefree doctor. A pang of guilt coursed through him. "Yeah…" His voice came out quieter than he'd anticipated. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Yeah. The doctors said something about having an update on his condition." Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to say the informant's name. Even 'flea' didn't feel right now.

"Ah, that's right. The doctor in charge of Izaya-kun called me a while ago. I rushed over here rather quickly." It was obvious too. His hair looked like he'd run through a wind tunnel and his clothes were creased beyond human recognition. "Shizuo-kun," his voice instantly turned serious. "Do you think he'll be okay?"

The blonde looked away, focusing his eyes on a family passing by.

"I don't know... I really don't know." His voice was barely above a whisper, his voice cracking under the focused gaze of his friend. "It's my fault." The back of his eyes stung but his tears refused to fall. Why did someone like him feel an emotion as gut wrenching as this in the first place? He closed his eyes, shaking the thoughts that plagued his mind away.

"Shizuo-kun..." The doctor's voice trailed off. He had cast his eyes elsewhere the moment he heard the blonde's voice crack. He understood. Gently tugging on the elbow of his friend, he moved toward the sliding doors. "Let's go."

* * *

_"Good afternoon, Izaya-kun!" _Even in the state he was in, said male could instantly hear the strained happiness in his friend's voice. _"Shizuo-kun and I are here to visit you again! Ah- there's the doctor. Stay here with him, won't you?"_

He heard the gentle rustle of clothing beside him as the door shut quietly. _"Guess I'm stuck here with you again." _That voice again. Full of such raw emotion. Weren't they enemies? _"Do you... get lonely in here?"_

Lonely? Lonely was an understatement. Other than Shizuo and Shinra's voices, it was complete isolation. If anything, for the first time since he could remember, he was terrified. He was stuck in a body that wouldn't respond no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't even remember how he ended up in such a bad state.

_'Scared. I'm scared.' _He couldn't stop his own thoughts unleashing a storm. _'It's dark. I'm alone. Why? Why am I alone here? Why can't I open my eyes and squint in the blinding rays of the sun? Why can't I move my fingers and hold the hand that's in mine as tightly as I can? Why?_

_'Shizuo, help me. Shizuo, please, please help me.'_

* * *

**a sudden author's note **/ I found out while writing this chapter that it's when I'm feeling terrible emotions such as frustration and anger that I can actually write things. The downside to this is that I make _a lot _of typos the such because of it. Time to reply to reviews:

**Ame ten97 **– Poor baby Shizuo is hurt ;; save me please ;;

**Guest **– I'm glad you're enjoying this ~ and thank you for your words of support ! It means a lot c:


	5. Hope(less)

**RECOMMENDED SONG: **Thrupence - Thought 08

* * *

**hope **_(n.) _a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.

**hopeless **_(a.) _feeling or causing despair.

* * *

_ '__Shizuo, help me. Shizuo, please, please help me.'_

It sounded like an echo. Maybe he was going crazy from having to smell the overload of disinfectant every day. There was no way that he'd be able to hear the voice of a comatose person, even if he were holding that person's hand.

He was sitting on the chair beside the comatose Izaya, a small desk placed in front of him. Papers were stacked in front of the blonde. He'd been collecting information ever since he had given permission for the police to investigate this whole thing. Despite Shinra's constant insisting that Shizuo should go home and rest, the stubborn blonde refused to leave the hospital.

Letting out a sigh, he ran his calloused hand though his greasy hair. His tired brown eyes stared at the crumpled cigarette pack half hidden under a stack of papers. It'd been days since he last bothered to even touch it. He didn't even want to leave the informant's side just to give into his addiction.

But that voice. That voice instantly made something inside his mind click. It was something that terrified him because it could only ever lead to something that caused more pain than any physical attack. It made him remember the woman who worked at the bakery when he was still young. How'd that end again? Ah, that's right. It ended terribly.

Finally letting go of his pen, the blonde turned around to face the comatose Izaya completely. "What the hell are you doing to me?" He linked their fingers together, his eyes staring at their joined hands. "Making me feel something like this isn't what your job is, you idiot flea." With his free hand, he leaned in closer and ran his hand through the soft raven mop of locks in front of him.

Removing his tangled fingers from the sleeping male's hair, he moved his arm to drape gently around Izaya's waist. "You're supposed to…" His words trailed off as his eyes began to close. His head rested on the empty side of the bed, his fingers still entwined with Izaya's own slender ones. "… make sure I'm never lonely by pestering me…"

* * *

_'__What the hell are you doing to me? Making me feel like this isn't what your job is, you idiot flea.'_

Izaya could feel a familiar warmth spreading around his waist. It was something that almost comforted him despite the seemingly inescapable void he was trapped in. More than anything, he wanted to reach out and embrace the source of the warmth before it left. He tried to open his mouth and yell for that one name. He willed for his lifeless arms to lift up and pull that idiotic blonde to his chest and just-

_'__You're supposed to… make sure I'm never lonely by pestering me…'_

And that was it. A click rang through his ears and suddenly his fingers were moving to his own will. It meant he could finally reach out to him. He silently thanked whatever god existed as he felt warm tears slipping past his closed eyelids. Tears? How long had it been since he last felt such a raw emotion plague him in such an unexpected way?

* * *

Shizuo was startled awake by a sudden movement in his hand. Jerking his head up, his eyes widened suddenly as he noticed a fresh tear rolling down Izaya's pale face. He sat still like a deer in the headlights. Snapping out of what seemed like a trance, the blonde moved closer toward the otherwise peaceful informant. With half lidded eyes, he gently kissed away the tears that threatened to slide down further than it already had.

Realising what he was doing, he stood up abruptly, his fingers never letting go of Izaya's own. He needed to find a doctor. This was a sign right? A sign that this damn flea was perfectly okay and that he'd just wake up any moment now and start saying the stupidest things. A sign that Izaya would wake up and frown at his hand in the ex-bartender's.

He did the only thing that he could do. Yell. He made as much noise as possible, trying to attract the attention of whatever doctors happened to be passing by. "Oi you damn idiots! There's something going on here!" He glared daggers through the blinds that covered the windows. "We need a fucking doctor in here, damn it!"

Everything seemed to suddenly go in slow motion as a doctor burst through the door accompanied by a nurse. He watched frozen as the unnamed doctor ran took long strides toward where Shizuo stood, glancing at the pair's hands. Eventually turning fully to the blonde, he took on a serious tone. "Sir, may I ask exactly what happened for you to be yelling out in such a way?"

Letting go of the cold hand in his warm one, he looked at the doctor directly in the eyes. "Izaya. He- there were tears coming out of his eyes. His fingers were twitching when I was holding his hand." Words began to tumble uncontrollably out of his mouth as he tried to explain what had happened.

For the briefest of moments, the doctor stood stunned. Picking up the clipboard that hung off the side of Izaya's hospital bed, the doctor gestured for the nurse to leave. "Sir," his face turned grim. "I'm afraid that the twitching and the tears you saw was only something that is known as the Lazarus Sign. I'm sorry. This is not a sign that Mr Orihara will wake up."

The doctor's words pierced through him, causing him to slump down into the chair behind him. He suddenly found it hard to breathe. Burying his face into the palms of his hands, his body shook with silent sobs where tears refused to drop. He buried his head further down, his fingers grabbing at his own hair roughly. Choked sounds escaped his throat. "Fuck." He began to chant profanities. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why? Why won't you wake up, damn it?"

It hurt. It hurt too much.

* * *

**a sudden author's note **/ I was originally going to set myself a deadline. Guess what? Nope. I might start recommending songs at the start of chapters which should be put on replay while reading. Only a little suggestion though. ALSO. This is a stupidly long author's note.

**Regarding the Lazarus Sign** – this is an actual thing but it actually only occurs to brain dead or brainstem failure patients who have still functioning organs that are being kept functioning by life-support machines.

It essentially provides a false sense of hope for the family and friends of the patient. I actually got this idea from the live action film of _I Give My First Love to You_ since it left quite a mark on me (plus I cried a lot thanks to it so…). However, I adjusted a few things – since this is after all in the genre of fiction – and made it that instead of the Lazarus Sign only appearing in brain dead or brainstem failure patients, it also occurred in comatose patients. Whether this actually happens in real life or not, I cannot confirm.

_Review time:  
_**Akatsuki Fatale – **Sleeping Beauty Izaya has been asleep, destined to receive the kiss of his long awaited prince ugu.

**Ame ten97 **– chickadee I'm crying like ;3;


	6. Confess

**RECOMMENDED SONGS: **

Crywolf & Ianborg – Stay_, _Koda – Invitation to Love

* * *

**confess **_(v.) _acknowledge something reluctantly, typically because one feels slightly ashamed or embarrassed.

* * *

With an unnerving feeling of hopelessness inside of him, Shizuo stormed out of the room, not bothering to even consider letting Shinra know about what the hell had just happened. He felt like absolute shit. A flurry of emotions welled up within him. He wanted to yell out obscenities. He wanted to curse every laughing person who happened to walk by him. He wanted to cry out in anguish. He wanted that fucking idiot back.

He was barely aware of his phone ceaselessly ringing in his pocket. All he wanted right now was solitude, to get away from every damn person that was stopping him from finding out just who had almost killed the informant. Almost as if he were in a daze, the blonde pulled out the buzzing device and answered it, not even bothering to check the caller ID.

"What the hell do you want?" His voice sounded odd even to his own years. He could hear a hoarseness in his voice from having yelled so loudly within the walls of the hospital room. Even with the cellular device in his hand, he could still feel Izaya's hand in his own. Oddly enough, he admitted to himself that he missed the feeling.

A sudden voice cut through his wandering thoughts. "Shizuo-kun! I heard about what happened at the hospital! Why did you leave before I got there?" Said male could instantly recognise the tone of panic and worry that laced the brunette's voice. He could understand the reasoning behind that tone. "The doctors told me about Izaya-kun's condition. Will you be coming back to check on him?"

Shizuo stared at the orange sky above him. How was he supposed to respond? He didn't want to be in that room where that damned idiot might never wake up. "I just-" Running a hand through his blonde hair, he let out a deep sigh. "I really can't be in there, Shinra." For the first time in ages, he sounded almost calm.

* * *

_'__I'm sorry. This is not a sign that Mr Orihara will wake up.'_

The slamming of the door that followed made Izaya feel the need to flinch away from the loud noise. The first thing he noticed was the absence of warmth in his hand. He'd felt the ghosting of a warm pair of lips over his rogue tears and now the owner of those lips couldn't seem to be found. Being left in this place that he didn't know honestly scared him.

He felt alone again. Alone and trapped in a place where no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't seem to get out. If anything, it made him feel powerless. Never in the past had he ever felt like he was unable to do anything. He was a man that people feared for he could unveil even their darkest secrets no matter how hard they tried to hide them. Every sane soul in Ikebukuro knew to stay away the moment they saw his malicious grin and heard manic laugh echoing through the dark streets.

Any yet, here he was. All he wanted was for someone to pull him from this ridiculous situation and shake him awake. He wanted someone to tell him that everything he's going right now isn't actually happening. He could hear his heart beating at a strangely calm rate despite his flurry of thoughts.

He couldn't stop himself from trying to call for that name. Even if he was someone that even he was sometimes afraid of, he needed that damn blonde to at least punch him in the face to bring him back to reality. But just what reality would he be in when he finally got to open his eyes again?

_'__Shizuo, please get me out.' _He could feel the control he had in his fingers begin to slip away with each second passing. _'I can't hold anymore. Shizuo…'_

* * *

Standing in the middle of a near empty sidewalk, Shizuo felt the sudden urge to get back- no, to start _sprinting_ back to the hospital. He could hear his heart thumping away rapidly in his chest and his feet landing roughly on the pavement beneath him. The tall buildings of Ikebukuro passed by him in an indistinguishable blur as he ran.

The blonde stood with his hands on his knees in front of the familiar automatic double doors, he looked like an absolute mess. His already unkempt hair looked like it had been through a wind tunnel. His otherwise perfectly tidy clothes were completely wrinkled. He panted harshly for breath, his throat almost completely dry. Still trying to catch his breath, he walked through the doors as he ran his hand through his hair in a half hearted attempt to fix it.

Rounding a corner, he saw various doctors leaving the room where Izaya was held. He could hear indistinct muttering between them and was unable to make out even one word no matter how much he strained his ears. It wasn't long before he witnessed one of the doctors shaking his head and begin to walk away with his colleagues following suit.

Unable to process what he'd just witnessed, Shizuo brushed the thought off and began walking toward room 204 after regaining his composure. He listened to the quiet squeaking of his shoes against the linoleum floor. He stared into the window of the door, distracted by the mass of machines that surrounded the plain bed.

Quietly pushing open the door, he could suddenly hear that familiar voice again, _'Shizuo, please get me out.' _Approaching the bed, his mind seemed to go blank as hot tears stung the back of his eyes. _'I can't hold on anymore. Shizuo…'_

A wave of emotions overtook him again. He could almost feel the lock that held back his words forcefully break open as he sank to his knees beside the bed. His body moved with each silent sob that escaped him. "Izaya, don't you dare let go now. Don't you dare let go until I find the bastard that did this to you." His voice shook with each breath he took. He grabbed the blankets that covered the comatose male, his hands balling into tight fists. "I swear if you let go I will never forgive you. Do you understand? Do you understand why I'm saying such sappy shit?"

His question was left hanging in the dead silence. He could feel himself trembling despite how hard he tried to keep himself still.

"I'll spell it out for you, idiot Izaya." Letting go of the blankets in his hands, he leaned over the bed and stared at the pale face before him. "Even if you're the most annoying flea that I have ever met, even if I've always said that I can't stand you even being in the same city as me, for some stupid reason, you, Izaya Orihara, have made me fall in love for the first time. So don't you dare let go and leave me before I can look you in the eyes and say this shit again."

Without thinking any further, he shut his mouth and stopped his words from flowing. Closing his eyes, he leaned down and did something that he never thought he would while he was still sane. "Don't ask me to not leave you alone and then leave me alone yourself." Whispering those last words, he leaned down, kissing the cold lips of his once sworn enemy.

* * *

**a sudden author's note **/ Aggressively tries to catch up on anime while writing. I actually have a playlist for what songs I listen to ( and sometimes skip ) while writing Waver. However, it's a pain to actually choose one specific song for each chapter so I tend to just listen to everything all over again. Even so, sometimes just one song doesn't fit and I just add a bunch. /sighs/ I type too much in these things. I also really, really _hate _the fact that sometimes certain formatting doesn't appear. /table flips/

_Review time:_

**Akatsuki Fatale **– Ahh I started laughing at 'Prince Vending Machine' hahaha. Whack them both upside the head !

**Guest **– But the question is: will Izaya actually wake up ?


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